The Truth and the Lies

After two weeks of running and hiding I finally found a laptop and some wifi to upload my last blog post. Turns out that the earthquake was a deliberate setup by the Japanese government. The earthquakes along the ring of fire, which decreased tourism significantly, had scared people a lot. Their plan was to turn on the machine to create a very large earthquake and show the world how advanced their system was. It proved true but they forgot one major aspect, the tsunami. Somehow they managed to overlook this part and were completely surprised by the giant wave that ravished their country. Earlier today the government released an official statement that truly angers me. They said that on the same day just about an hour before the quake, there was a parade in Seattle. Because Seattle is in America and America is fat the orderly fashion of the fat people’s steps rocked the earth and caused this horrific earthquake in Japan. But that is all bologna. Candide is almost as enraged as I am. But, he gave me words of advice, he told me to influence myself, don’t let other people become the influence in my life.

I will go back into hiding for now and hope to return soon!

Striding Closer to the Truth

Im back!

In my most recent post, there was an article that tried to explain the phenomenon in Japan. Turns out that this was one hugely horrific lie. But I believe that while I was making an effort to help people in need, I might have stumbled upon it. I was digging through files a specific part of Japan called Eldurango with my friend Candide and a friend we met there named Mr. Pan. They were both just wallowing about uselessly talking about how the earthquake was somehow good for the world when I found the document I was looking for. I opened up the folder and found page number 27 missing. From the marks of the tear it looked very recent. I dug deeper into the book and finally put the puzzle pieces together and what I found out was astonishing. Wait, Japanese swat teams are raiding the building. I must go, I will blog the news soon.

Interesting article.

I found this segment of an article online that really explains our tough times here in japan.

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i93075#this

As Japan today recovers from its devastating earthquake and subsequent tsunami, people are beginning to ask questions about how and why this could have happened.

Professor Sunichi Robotifuki of the University of Tokyo spoke to the press today through his robotic personal assistant, Roboto.

Roboto said, "We think the whales are to blame. We know they have been researching earthquake technology for some time. We know this because our own research found plans for a giant earthquake machine. This was discovered within the belly of one huge but delicious whale we caught last year."

When asked what the Japanese were planning to do about these aggressive "terrorist" whales, Roboto said, "We must detonate one of our nuclear power stations to create a Godzillamonster, which we can then send to defeat the whales and destroy their earthquake machine they have built at the bottom of the sea."

"If that doesn't work, then we will have to build a giant karaoke machine and put it inside a submarine. Whales love karaoke. We know because our researchers found a karaoke CD within the belly of a very tasty lady whale we caught last year."

Candide and I go to Japan

I just built a time machine and went back in time. I grabbed a man that I thought would be amazed by this new world. His name was Candide. We decided to leave America and go to Japan. We landed and caught a bus to the hotel on the beach. Just as we got to our room a giant earthquake struck Japan and its capital city. Candide screamed in disgust and yelled, “not again!!!!!”. My guess is that this has happened to him before. We ran outside to find the earth shattered like a pane of glass and had to gingerly jump from stone to stone to avoid falling to our deaths. Candide seemed very unpleasant the whole time whereas and obsessed with himself while I was trying to help people that weren’t as fortunate as us and got injured. Earlier today I pulled a man out of a building, turns out it was actually just a loose arm that had been cut off. We are having a very tough time so far and we hope to post again soon. For the mean time, keep checking back for more news from Japan.